your parents love me but you hate me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
