Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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