I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
