tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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