The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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