I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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