You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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