Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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