This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
