My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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