I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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