Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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