he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
