My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
