is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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