I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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