I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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