Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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