Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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