You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
