Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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