just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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