If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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