Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
