Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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