yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
