Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
