i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The air was thick with penises
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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