i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Randomize
