Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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