Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
