Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
