i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if only i could text you this smell
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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