Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
