i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
