She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
