seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
