Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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