i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
