Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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