Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
