I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
