Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
