I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
