you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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