does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
