Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
