He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
