mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hippo gnu deer
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
