The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
