woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
